Saturday, August 13, 2005

You Again?

I've been dating the same man since I was 18 years old. Sure, over the years he's had different names, but still in all, it's the same man. Who is he? Why none other than Mr. I'm Going Through Some Shit Right Now. Say word? You dated him too? The dude that can't call, can't email, can't see you, can't function because he's going through some shit. Wow, and all this time I thought I was the only woman he was with. Cheating ass bastard.
Some shit comes in all types of different degrees, but the two most common types are Ex-Girlfriend/Baby Mamma Drama and Broke Ass Nigga Issues. It's all about those Broke Ass Niggas for me!! In my own defense, let me just say that I do NOT intentionally date financially challenged men. They don't appear to have money issues in the beginning. This is not to say that they come off as ballers, cause I have never been lucky enough to find me one of those. But they don't fit the typical scrub stereotype either; meaning they have a job, a place to live besides Momma's basement, and a reasonable mode of transportation. Heck, they've even taken me out to eat and let me supersize and everything. Definitely not the actions of a man who's hurting for cash.
My first exposure to Mr. I'm Going Through Some Shit Right Now came when I was 18 years old and started seeing Sweet but Sporadically Employed Boy. Now when we met he had a promising career as a UPS stockboy, but that gig ended about 2 months into the courtship. From that point on, he never held a steady job. The less he worked, the more I heard, "I'm going through some shit right now." He doesn't call. "I'm going through some shit right now." He doesn't come visit me (he lived 2 hours away). "I'm going through some shit right now." I knew for damn sure he was going through some shit when he asked me to let him hold some money from my hard earned financial aid refund check.
Even though I broke up with Sweet But Sporadically Employed Boy after a few short months, I kept on dating Mr. I'm Going Through Some Shit Right Now Cause I'm a Broke Ass Nigga. Let's see...there was Broke Ass Auto Mechanic, Broke Ass Student, Broke Ass Property Owner, Broke Ass County Employee. You name it, he was broke. But I was always the last one to figure it out. Looking back, I should've known something was wrong because when we would go out he would pay for everything in cash. He might as well just put it in neon lights. "Broke Ass Nigga who's about to be going through some shit." If a man pays for dinner, a movie, popcorn, soda, and jujubees without once pulling out a credit card, RUN, don't walk, to the nearest exit and never look back. More than likely if he's carrying cash like that, he doesn't even have a bank account. If Visa, Mastercard, American Express, and Discover won't take a chance on his broke ass, why should I.
I have to admit that oftentimes, I wasn't even feeling Mr. I'm Going Through Some Shit Right Now like that. Actually, I didn't feel much of an attachment until he started going through some shit. All of a sudden he's hanging on to the bottom rung, and I'm experiencing this uncontrollable urge to be there for him. It's funny because when I think he's just being a prick and ignoring me I'm ready to say screw him. But the second I find out that he's "going through some shit right now," I morph into Captain Save a Scrub. Obviously I'd been listening to way too many rap songs about Shorty standing by her nigga when he ain't have nothing and blah blah blah. Somehow I got hoodwinked by every rapper (and the cluck clucks like Ashanti and Charli Baltimore backing them up) running around extolling the virtues of being a down ass chick. In reality, what exactly is the benefit in being by dude's side when he's going through some shit? You help him get the keys to that V.6 and then what? Oh yeah, that's right. He starts fucking them girls, but don't worry cause he's gonna get right back.
I'm not trying to invalidate the issues people go through. However, going through some shit is not an excuse to effectively check out for an indefinite period of time. Basically saying that you're "going through some shit" is a crock of shit. Unless you're homeless or in jail, going through some shit doesn't prevent someone from living their life. I go through shit all the time. Hell, every month I go through shit for 5 days straight, but you don't see me hiding under a rock until everything is okay. Not communicating for days on end is completely unacceptable. And 5 orgasms in one night is NOT going to make us forget that we ain't seen or heard from you in damn near 10 days. Well at least not entirely.


Michele in Michigan said...

I absolutely LOVE the way you write! I know I'm responding to an old post, but I wanted to start from the beginning. After all, I gotta eat what's here in front of me before I can ask for seconds ;)

Anonymous said...