Heavenly Father*, first I just want to thank you for who you are and all you have done in my life. I know I don't deserve half of the blessings you've bestowed upon me, but you're merciful and faithful and love me inspite of myself. Thank you for that. I need that right now. And I'm sorry for all that I have done intentionally and unintentionally that displeased you. Please help me to walk closely to you, in the path you light so that I do not go astray.
Now Lord, you know what I'm going through right now, so I don't need to go into the details. You know how badly this hurts right now and how long it's been hurting. I've tried to make it go away, but it won't. It just keeps right on aching and I can't take it anymore. Please, I beg you to take it away. It's been months and he's still right here with me. When I wake up, he's there. When I hear that song, he's there. When I close my eyes he's there. But he's not here! He's not with me, not for real. And I can feel this pain, in every fiber of my body I feel it.
I know you couldn't possibly want me to be in this kind of agony. So I figure there are two options.
You could take all the feelings away. If I don't want him anymore, I won't care that we are no more. It won't matter that he no longer calls and that he's with someone else. It won't matter that he's just fine and I have to pick up the pieces. I won't miss him, I won't remember him, and I won't cry over him. Most of all, I won't need him back.
But honestly, from the look of things, I don't think this feeling is going away. So that makes me think it must be here for a reason. Maybe this is our trial or test before we can embark on forever. That's fine. I've learned all my lessons and won't make the same mistakes again. Since the hurt won't go away, please give me the cure...him. If I have him, everything will be better. I'll be better.
It doesn't really matter which option you give me, because either way, I won't be heartbroken anymore. I trust you, Lord, and know that you can make this all work out. Because that's what you said. You said that in all things you're working for the good of those who love you. I love you, so please, please, please find some way to make this heartbreak into something good. Amen.
*extremely past tense prayer. I am FINE now, I swear it.