Job Opening

Job Opening

Job Category: Relationship
Type: Full time, plus overtime
Salary: It's gonna cost ya
Languages: Anything that sounds sexy
Last day to apply: My wedding day
Compensation: Me
Job Title: Boyfriend

Responsibilities:
Responsibilities will include, but are not limited to:

• Saying and doing the right things to properly convey your undying adoration, admiration, and lust for me.

• Managing all shopping bags while touring Westchester Mall/SoHo/Madison Ave/any similar location
• Arguing when necessary, but ultimately realizing the error of your ways
• Footrubs, backrubs, assrubs on request
• Researching and evaluating what is really meant when hearing the words, "I'm fine."
• Maintaining daily communication via telephone, email, text messages, and telepathic senses
• Coordinating dinner dates, movie nights, surprise parties, and other special events
  
• Watching All My Children, One Life To Live, and General Hospital

Qualifications:
All candidates must have the following qualifications,

• A J.O.B. (Doctors, lawyers, bankers, engineers, professional athletes, high level managers, music industry execs, Hollywood producers, and other ballers only)
• 6'0 and above
• size 13 shoe and above (hint, hint)
• College Degree (advanced degree preferred); a shit load of money is good enough if no degree has been earned.
• Solo residential accomodations
• No criminal record
• No kids
• No pending kids, or possibles either
• Never married
  
• No restraining orders
• Non smoker, ocassional drinker (non drinking is cool too)
• hella sex appeal
• Possess all teeth in some semblance of order
• Must be practicing _____________________ (Christian/Jew/Muslim/Buddhist/Hindu/Agnostic/Atheist/whatever floats your boat)

New York Knicks fans need not apply.