What am I Waiting For?

Having taken advanced classes during my first two years of high school, there was room in my 11th grade schedule for an elective. I decided to take Writer's Workshop, a class meant to tap into the creative genius in teenage minds. Under the tutelage of the wise Dr. Danaher, we crafted literary masterpieces filled with every writing device known to man.
A few days ago, while digging through my boxes, I found the 1997 volume of Visions, my high school's literary journal. Included in that year's edition are two pieces I wrote in that class. A short story and a poem. Now, I love to write, but I don't do poetry any longer. It's too much effort to be that creative and not have it sound like self conscious tripe. I stick to prose cause it's easier. This is the last poem I ever wrote. I loved it then, and I love it now. Moreso now, because I love to see where I was and compare it to where I am now. Some things changed, others didn't. But overall, it's still me. Present commentary is in parentheses. Enjoy!


Waiting
I am waiting for spring to come (it's here, thank God!)
so my feet can be warm (they're still cold)
I am waiting for "Tall Women's" jeans
to be tall enough for me (they hang in my closet now!)
I am waiting for this song to leave my head (oooooohhh baby when you talk like that, you make a woman go mad....)
so that another can take it's place (You've got, you've got, you've got what it takes to make me leave my man, it's hard to control myself, it's hard to control myself...)
I am waiting for the courage to say how I feel (I got that now!)
and for someone else to feel it too (my readers usually do)
And I am waiting for things to be the way they used to (they never will be)
For memories of "One Potata, Two Potata"
to once again be a reality
and for everything to be alright again.
I am waiting for my secrets to be discovered
and secretly hoping they will be. (not so much anymore. let's keep them hidden)
I am waiting for self confidence (got it)
and waiting to be free of fear (not there yet)
I am waiting to figure out what I want and when I do,
I will wait a little longer to go after it (I know what I want, and yep I'm waiting to do something about it)
I am waiting for the perfect day
and for forever at the same time. (still waiting)
I am waiting for salty streams to stain my face (they've left trails on my cheeks)
so I can be aware emotions (very aware now)
And I am waiting to understand
why three little words mean so much to so many (I know why now)
and waiting to see what they will mean to me (they can mean everything, and still not mean enough)
I am waiting for background music
to highlight every major moment in my life. (still waiting on this one, although I'm starting to think it's logistically impossible)
And I am waiting for him to ask for my number (he asked)
so I can laugh and say, "No!" (I said yes)
And I am waiting for the shouting to stop
and for listening to begin (hasn't happened)
For quiet calm to descend
and wrap the earth in its velvet embrace
And for anger to pass into the night
like a distant dream. (maybe someday)