Just Thinking

It's after midnight and I feel compelled to write. There are a million and one ideas running through my head, but they're scattered. A thought here, a quote there, but nothing cohesive. Yet and still I feel a need to just say something. The ideas don't make sense yet, and they won't for a while. So I'm at a strange place, I'm writing with nothing to say. There is no story, there is no point, just a need. I will write and that is it. There will be no editing, there will be no clarification. Just my thoughts as they come to me. I've never done this before and I wonder where it will lead.
My mind skips a lot, from here to there, past to present, present to future. An idea hits and leaves soon afterwards. Sometimes the idea comes back again and again until it becomes more than just an idea, it becomes a passage. Other times the ideas vanish as quickly as they come. That's the thing about ideas, unless you make them concrete, they're fleeting. Feels like a lot of life is fleeting. Happiness, knowledge, self assurance. It all comes and goes. Sometimes I wonder if my love for words will be fleeting too. I used to love him and him too. I don't anymore. When I love, I can't imagine not loving and when I stop loving I don't remember why I loved. I don't want to lose what I love now because my love flits and flies and finds something else. Maybe that's why no one can love me and not stop. I haven't learned to do it myself, why should I expect anyone else to. I'm depressing myself with this line of thought and it needs to stop.
On another note, blogging with nothing to blog about is dangerous territory. Can't be tied up neatly, and it often goes where it's not supposed to go. Yes, I'm revealing. I tell a lot. But it's calculated. I know what I will and won't say before I say it. This time I don't. Will I say something I shouldn't? I probably already have.