Monday, November 07, 2005

You Need An Alignment

There are certain concepts in this world that aren't very difficult to understand. What comes up, must come down. A closed mouth don't get fed. $13.95 + tax is NOT too much to spend on lip glass. If you break it, you buy it. Simple right? That is unless you were born with that defective Y chromosome. It seems as though basic rules of human interaction float right over their heads without them ever noticing. One in particular really stumps them. They just can't seem to master the concept of actions speaking louder than words.
If you've ever been in a room full of women there are always one or two who seem to be involved with a guy who just doesn't want a relationship. You'll hear them complaining about how the man won't commit. Of course these women won't break up with the men who don't give them what they need. They stick around hoping the man will one day change his mind and decide to give a full fledged relationship a shot. I used to look at these women and think that they were dumber than rocks. Common sense would tell you that if a man repeatedly says, "I don't want a relationship," then that's exactly what he means. If these women were being strung along, it was their own faults. That was my opinion and I was sticking to it.
Then something interesting happened. I befriended some guys. Any woman who has been friends with the male species soon realizes that as a friend, men don't find any reason to censor themselves around us. As a result, we become privy to all their dirty little secrets. After befriending several Purple People Eaters, all of whom were involved but didn't want to be in a relationship, something dawned on me. Maybe it wasn't the women who were being stupid. Perhaps they were sticking around because although these men said one thing, their actions didn't match up.
Let me break it down for you. Dude says, "I don't want a relationship." Same dude spends majority of his free time with one lady. Same dude attends family, work, and social functions with said lady. Same dude does the holiday thing with the lady (and not just Veteran's Day, Christmas and Valentine's Day included). Same dude is sleeping with this lady damn near every night for almost a year. Now it might just be me, but this seems like relationship behavior. Excuse me Dude, you might not want to admit this, but you're ass is in a relationship. If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck....you can fill in the rest. A man can't say he doesn't want a relationship, fill the boyfriend role, and then wonder why a woman is constantly saying, "we need to talk." If you don't want to be with the woman don't act like it! Let me show you what that looks like. Don't hang out more than once a week. Don't have her meeting your folks, and don't meet hers. Don't discuss having feelings for her. Don't do the holiday thing. Basically don't do jack! Because anything you do can and will be used against you in relationship court.
The only thing that irks me more than a man who says he doesn't want to be in a relationship with a woman who he's been relationing with for ages, is a man who won't let go of a woman he says he doesn't want to be with. It seems to me that if you don't want us, you should be happy to see us go. But for some reason it never works like that. It's not fun to have to get over someone who's just not that into you. So imagine doing all the hard work of exorcising some man from your system, only to have him pop back up the second he senses you might be getting over him. He never actually wants to be together, he just doesn't want you over him. Now this is just purely selfish bullshit. Listen guys, after the age of 5 playing the "I don't want it, but I'm not going to share it" game is unacceptable. You know maybe if you're having that hard a time letting her walk away, you just might want her a little more than you thought you did. MESSAGE!!!
Now this can also be turned around to apply to those guys who claim to want to be with a chick but should have the words "disappearing acts" spray painted across their forehead. If you don't call, don't spend time, and aren't there when she needs you, then don't bother telling her you like her and want to be with her. It just causes unnecessary confusion. And no it's NOT all in her head. Trust me when I say that women keep track of how much you call (and I don't mean call back, I mean call first), when you ask to see us, everything you do and don't do for us, and every little word you say. We tabulate it all up into a does he really like me chart! When the stuff that comes out of your mouth doesn't match up with things you do, the only calculation we get is a big fat ?
So do us and yourselves a really big favor. Say what you mean and mean what you say and then back that bitch up with whatever you do. This has been a PSA from women everywhere to you!

1 comment:

Taki said...

"They just can't seem to master the concept of actions speaking louder than words."

Okay, if I provide you with spiritual, emotional, physical, and intellectual stimulation at all the right times but fail to verbaly tell you how much I love you and how much you mean to me on a regular basis; would you be satisfied? NO, you wouldnt.
Your statement is a blatant lie! Females want....excuse me....require both. Actions and words!!!! You know why? Yall say you know what you want. When you really dont know. And fact of the matter is, you want everything!