I miss junior high. It was so great. School dances, high school football games, cute boys, house parties, it was all great. You know what else was great about junior high school? Breaking up. True, at the time breaking up sucked, but looking back on it, break ups back then were easy! The break up rules were so easy to follow all those years ago. "Relationships" ended when one person stopped liking the other or when some egregious wrong was inflicted upon someone (i.e. dancing too close too another person at the last dance). Somewhere between then and now the rules changed. Sure, we still break up because somebody did us dirty or because we're just not feeling it anymore. But for some reason somewhere down the line we started breaking up even when no one has done anything really wrong and the feelings are just as strong as they've always been. Junior high never prepared me for this.
It's truly amazing how one day everything can be going so great that happy doesn't begin to describe it and then one day you wake up and that euphoria is a distant memory. Now I don't believe that any relationship can sustain the initial high indefinitely. After a while things settle into a comfortable rhythm in which both parties feel secure and content. But sometimes that high can gradually deflate like a balloon that's slowly loosing helium. It crashes to the ground in silence without that loud bang that lets you know that something is even missing. No matter how much you try to get that balloon to fly as high as it used to it just won't. It doesn't matter that you still want that balloon and never had any intention of letting it go. Also doesn't matter that you're still attached to that balloon completely. It just won't work.
Somewhere along the line I realized that certain relationships just don't work. There used to be a time when all two people needed was to just like each other a whole lot and that would be enough to keep them together. It's a really sad day when you realize that feelings alone won't resusicitate a dead union. Sometimes you can't love a person enough to make up for what it is they can't give you. The same conversation can only be had but so many times without anything changing.
Strange part of it all is that there isn't the fireworks that junior high breakups used to have as a weeklong courtship went down in a blaze of glory between 5th and 6th period. No yelling, no begging and pleading, no plots of revenge. Just a quiet resignation that it isn't working. I swear hating the ex is a whole lot easier than missing him like crazy and knowing there isn't a damn thing you can do about it.