Ladies and Gentlemen, the Brain Dump has gone viral. I logged into my Sitemeter account today and saw an astronomical upswing in my traffic, courtesy of some blog by a person named Roosh. Seems as though someone found this older post and put it on his site and the name calling commenced. At first I ignored it, but when people feel the need to call me nasty names ON MY BLOG then all bets are off.
1) READING COMPREHENSION IS FUNDAMENTAL
“Besides, in my experience instant sparks have a tendency to spontaneously combust. As I’ve gotten older I’ve stopped making snap judgments about my interest level based solely on first impressions.”
These sentences clearly state that I went out with a guy in order to see if my initial impression was correct. I went out with him, NOT to get a free meal, but to simply see if there might be more to him than I initially thought. The free meal was simply a bonus. We all find ourselves in situations where we know that in getting A we will also get B and C as well. Doesn't mean we were only after B and C.
2) BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU ASK FOR
On countless occasions I have heard men say,”Why won’t a woman even give me a chance before she decides to reject me.” I know many women who will not even go on one date with a man if they don’t feel earth shattering chemistry from the get go. I tend to take a wait and see approach if I’m feeling indifferent. Now, I gave this man a chance and during the course of our lunch date he made a bad impression in many different ways from his personal presentation to his lack of listening skills. This turned my indifference to complete disinterest. Was I to walk out on him in the middle of the outing? That would be rude (and I’m sure people would call me names for that as well). Which brings me to my next point...
Just because a man takes a woman out, she has no obligation to enjoy the outing. Sometimes she will, sometimes she won’t. That’s what dating is. You win some, you lose some and you deal with it. One date does not equate to using a man, just like one date does not equate to being in a relationship (there are women who need to learn this). No one’s pimping off a $20 (if that) meal. Bad dates happen. And obviously he shared my feelings about the lunch because I never heard from him again. So no harm no foul. It seems like the guys who get most offended by a woman who says, “thanks, but no thanks” are the ones who seem to think they are owed something. I find this quite amusing since many of these same guys will have much deeper interactions with a woman for months without feeling like he owes her anything. Which segues nicely into this lesson....
4) AT YOUR OWN RISK
If you offer to take a woman out, then you’re taking on the risk that it might not be a good match (for her, for you, or both parties). If you’re not comfortable with that then simply spend time with her in ways that are either inexpensive (which a $20 meal is) or free. Host a potluck at your house and invite her to come. Ask her to join you at your friend’s fight party. Go for a run in the park. Get to know her informally and gauge if there’s a romantic spark that way. If you choose to use a date as a means to get to know a woman then you take on the risk of possibly spending money on someone who may not be in your life very long. That’s on you.
5) LESSON ON DATING
There are two types of dates: 1) The getting to know you date, and 2) the I really like you date. If you want to completely avoid feeling used (notice I said, "feeling," not "being") then only go out on formal dates with women you know you like and who you know like you too.
Real talk, we have all been rejected. We have all thought that a date went great only to realize that the other person didn't feel the same way. Most adults understand this and don't take personal offense to it. Honestly, I don't even need people to see things my way. Some will. Some won't. However, if you want to disagree with me, then do so respectfully. Cursing, name calling, and ranting and raving about something that has NOTHING to do with you personally is unproductive. So if you read this post and Could've Had a V8 and felt some kind of way about it feel free to "tell em why you mad son" in the comments. I'm all for lively discussions. Just do so respectfully.