Monday, September 05, 2011

Don't Call Me

I would like to take a break from all of the b-school talk to discuss something that's been on my mind lately...

About a month ago I was driving home from New York when a voice came through my car radio speakers. It was a woman over a telephone line, but I couldn't make out her words. The strains of a synthesizer phased onto the track, followed shortly by a pulsing bass line. A spark of recognition flashed in my mind. I knew this song. I turned up the volume ready to enjoy a song that I didn't know at all but knew that I liked.

I recognized Drake's slightly nasal tenor from the first note he sang. "Cups of the Rose/_____ in my old phone" he sings. Aahh, Drizzy doing his annual vulnerable thug posturing. Unlike previous listens I made a point to pay attention to his sensitive lyrics this time. I reclined in my seat, swayed to the syncopated drum beat, and vibed to his words. Then I heard it.
"The woman that I would try/is happy with a good guy/but I've been drinking so much/that I'mma call her anyways and say/_*__ that _**__ that you love so bad/I know you still think about the times we had/I said _*__ that _**__ that you think you found/And since you picked up I know he's not around"

Hold up...what did he just say?!

"I'm just saying you could do better/tell me have you heard that lately?"

Oh hell NO!! Sensitive my ass. What type of fuckery is that? There are so many things wrong with this scenario that I don't even know where to begin (but I'm gonna try). So dude is drunk and feeling lonely in the club, but even in his drunken haze he has the wherewithal to remember that she is HAPPY with someone else. That is reason enough to scroll to the next number and call chick #2, but nooooo...he decides that the peace she's found is irrelevant. He's gonna call her anyways and rain his shit show all over her new relationship. That's some bullshit right there (I don't care how pretty you try to make it sound in song). There is NOTHING romantic about that situation. She's moved a RELATIONSHIP with a good guy. Yet, he somehow feels entitled to call her at God knows what hour and tell HER that she's still thinking about what they used to have. Okay, let me take a minute to breathe...

Alright, I've collected myself. No, screw that. That is the most selfish, arrogant, entitled HOT ASS MESSINESS! And it just gets worse as the song goes on.
"I see all of her friends here/Guess she don't have the time to kick it no more/Flight's in the morning/What you doing that's so important"

And let's not forget this piece de resistance
"I don't think I'm conscious of making monsters outta the women that I sponsor til it all goes bad."

That little tidbit is followed up by some woe is me bullshit about the tribulations of being famous. There's a tiny violin playing somewhere. Can you hear it?

Honestly, I shouldn't be surprised that this crap is coming from Drake. I mean this is the same man who previously rapped, "Do I ever come up in discussion over double pump lattes and low-fat muffins? Do I? Or is missing what we had out of the question?" Then his very next line admits that he's probably the reason why she learned her lesson. Newsflash: If dating a guy was a "teachable moment" then it's not something to be missed.

That brings me to my biggest issue with Drake (and dudes like him). It's over. More than likely it's over because you either screwed up, strung her along for ages, or let her go. Not only do you think that you have the right to question her whereabouts and give your opinion about her relationship, but you then think that she should miss you! Why should she miss you? The fact that a guy would even think it's a possibility has to be the most self-involved delusion known to man. It doesn't matter what you did or how much time has passed. For some reason you feel that she still belongs to you. In your mind she could be married with her own starting five and you still think you could have her if you wanted. Because that's all this is really about, your need to feel like you still have something over her.

Ironically, these dudes NEVER actually want anything. Sure, they'll call or text to tell you that "you could do better" than your current relationship. Funny that they're not offering themselves up to be that better man. It's like a preschooler who doesn't want to play with his toy but doesn't want anyone else to own the toy either. It's maddening.

Songs like Marvin's Room remind me of the calls I would get from the Idiot (and other dudes); calls to "check-in" and see how I'm doing (more like who I'm doing). My ringing phone would wake me from sleep only for me to answer and hear, "Whatchu doing? You miss me?" According to Drake the fact that a woman picks up the call makes it okay.

"And since you picked up I know he's not around"

"I'm lucky that you picked up, lucky that you stayed on/I need someone to put this weight on"

I'm not going to lie and say that I never knew who was on the other end when I picked up my own Marvin's Room calls. Sometimes I did. The one thing that the guys who pull Marvin's Rooms know how to do is choose women who care. I cared for months. Knowing that you can't be with someone isn't an emotional shut off valve. So I answer because it might be important or because I can't bring myself to ignore it. But that doesn't mean I wanted to get that call.

At the end of 5 minutes and 27 seconds I'm disgusted by everything Marvin's Room represents. It conjures memories that I forget to remember to forget. Still...I turn up the volume and sing along the next time I hear it on the radio.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

JoJo is a singer that has a rendition to this song that is really good you should hear it. Its like a female retort.

I am applying to like every school you are (I can tell because you're in every GMATClub application thread I am in)

Good Luck !