Monday, September 19, 2005

Glory Days

The days are shorter, the evenings are getting chilly, and the leaves are beginning to turn. It's that time of year again. Summer is basically over and fall has arrived. And with fall comes the return of those extracurricular activities that have been on hiatus since June. Not only do the little kiddies get to spend 7 hours of the day in school, off the streets away from good tax paying citizens such as myself, they're also occupied until nightfall with a wide range of lessons, sports, and clubs. That means no more visits from the 6 year old camaflouged would-be assassin who lives next door to me. It also means I have a life again! Tap dancing and tae kwon do started again last week, YIPPEE!!!
When I moved to this place of boredom and brats I knew the only way to survive my indefinite stay would be to get out of town once a month and to find something or someone to keep me distracted while time sailed by. Getting out of town once a month was the easy part. Chicago is just a 3 hour drive away and credit cards cover plane tickets to NYC. That just left finding a suitable distraction. Initially I tried distracting myself with the men of Grand Rapids but quickly realized that I needed a distraction to keep my mind off the fact that Grand Rapids has no men. So I said to myself, "Self, we won't be getting any loving for a while, we need to find a hobby to keep ourself busy." I sat back and I pondered. A hobby. Well a hobby should be something I like to do. I like to shop! But I don't consider T-J Max and JC Penny suitable outlets for that pasttime. So I'd have to find something else. I enjoy a good club or lounge on the weekend. Unfortunately, all Grand Rapids had to offer was the Howlin Moon Saloon. The name alone says it all. With my options rapidly running out, I decided to think outside the box. I started looking back on my life to all the things that I've enjoyed over the years. Turns out I had to think all the way back to elementary school in order to find something that Grand Rapids couldn't totally fuck up for me. So I decided to relive the 4th grade and rekindle my passion for tap dancing and martial arts.
Hobbies were the perfect solution to my problem. Think about it. Not only do I live in West Bumblefuck, not knowing a soul out here, I also work from home. If I found hobbies, I'd find people and possibly even a social life, plus I'd get out of the house as well. So I went around the corner to the local dance studio and signed up for Monday night adult tap class. After that I signed up for Thursday night tae kwon do through the City Parks and Recreation Department. And you know something, the plan worked. Well sort of. Tapping and tae kwon do definitely filled up some time. But I didn't count on dancing with a bunch of retirement aged ladies with bladder issues. Nor did I expect tae kwon do class to be like this*:

But hey what can you do?
I may not have gained a single friend (well in a round about way tap classes brought the Curly Haired Stick Figure into my circle of friends) out of all this activity, but at least I have a reason to shower and leave the house two nights a week.
*Click on fuzzy picture

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